In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
And then he peed in my hair
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