My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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