So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she pinky promised me she was 18
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
