im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
