I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
