Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
third nipple confirmed
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
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