There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
