At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
