Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
