I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize