My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
