We're like a lot better than the average bears
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
