Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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