Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
