What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
barbara walters just said penis...
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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