I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
