I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
