she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
