Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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