I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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