It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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