You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Acid is not a monday night drug
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Randomize
