Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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