Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
