My sheets look like a crime scene.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize