is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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