I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
