Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Mom said you looked used
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
