Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
