We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
