She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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