what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize