Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
