Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
