Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
