White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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