After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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