I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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