I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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