I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
