found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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