On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
