Sry I called you an 8
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
