the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
