I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize