Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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