You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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