Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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