By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Two words: nipple clamps
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