Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
