The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
