he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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