....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize