Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
