I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
