its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
