also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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