I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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